How can you turn a seemingly adversarial conflict into a constructive partnership? I’ve said before that if someone comes to you with a grievance you should see it as an opportunity, but those words can ring hollow when you’re faced with a potentially costly, embarrassing accusation.
Let me be direct with you. Most organizations get this completely wrong.
The Defensive Trap That Costs You More
When complaints land on your desk, your first instinct might be to minimize exposure. Dismiss the complaint. Settle quietly. Maybe even discredit the person bringing it forward. I’ve seen this approach countless times in my practice, and I can tell you exactly where it leads: bigger problems, higher costs, and damaged reputations.
Here’s what I’ve learned from overseeing the representation of clients in thousands of cases: the organizations that treat complaints as threats to be eliminated often create the very disasters they’re trying to avoid.
Think about it. When you dismiss someone’s concern or handle it poorly, what happens? They don’t just disappear. They escalate. They find other channels. They take to social media. And suddenly, your “small” problem becomes a public relations nightmare that costs exponentially more to resolve.
The Opportunity Hidden in Every Complaint
First, don’t see the complaint as a threat but as an opportunity to potentially eliminate or reduce future risks and bigger problems. When you respond this way, you foster a culture that honors people’s concerns and creates a safe space for information to reach you.
I want you to consider this: every person who comes to you with a complaint is giving you intelligence about your organization. They’re showing you exactly where your systems, processes, or people are failing. That’s invaluable information—if you’re willing to receive it.

How can you resolve this conflict in a manner that doesn’t dehumanize anyone and respects all people involved? How can you respond to the allegation in a manner that respects the humanity of the claimant? How can you take the next step in a manner that recognizes that someone feels harmed?
You don’t know all the facts, but you do know that someone is telling you there’s a problem. Your job isn’t to immediately determine if they’re right or wrong. Your job is to listen, investigate fairly, and address whatever you find.
What This Looks Like in Practice
Let me paint you a picture of what opportunity-focused complaint handling actually looks like:
Listen first. When someone brings you a concern, your initial response sets the tone for everything that follows. Instead of getting defensive or immediately thinking about liability, focus on understanding what happened from their perspective.
Ask yourself the right questions. Rather than “How do we make this go away?” ask “What is this telling us about our organization?” and “How can we prevent this from happening to someone else?”
Investigate to learn, not to win. Approach your investigation with genuine curiosity about what went wrong and how to fix it. This doesn’t mean you assume guilt—it means you assume there’s something valuable to learn.
Communicate throughout the process. Keep the person who brought the complaint informed about what you’re doing and why. Transparency builds trust, and trust prevents escalation.
The Cultural Transformation
Instead of viewing your impact as limited to just quashing the allegation and keeping your people in line, you can create an organizational culture that over time reduces incidences and reports of wrongdoing. You will have fewer reports not because people keep their mouths shut, but because the culture itself takes concerns seriously and addresses them before they become major problems.
By making every touchpoint one that builds trust and confidence rather than distrust, suspicion, and resistance to the process, your institution is better served, your organizational culture is all the stronger, and your reputation is better protected.
This isn’t just theory. I’ve seen organizations transform themselves by embracing this approach. They discover that when people feel heard and respected, they’re more likely to bring concerns forward early, when they’re easier and less expensive to address. They find that transparency and accountability actually protect them better than secrecy and defensiveness ever could.
Your Choice
Every complaint that comes to your organization presents you with a choice. You can treat it as a legal risk to be minimized, or you can treat it as intelligence about how to build a better, stronger organization.
The organizations that choose opportunity over defensiveness don’t just avoid lawsuits—they create cultures where problems get solved before they become crises. They build trust with their stakeholders. They develop reputations for integrity and accountability.
Most importantly, they discover that doing the right thing isn’t just morally sound—it’s also the smartest business decision they can make.
When someone says they have been harmed by your organization or one of its agents, what follows does not need to be adversarial but can instead be a partnership that uses the problem as a springboard for opportunity to protect people and your institution.
The question isn’t whether complaints will come. They will. The question is whether you’ll be ready to turn them into the competitive advantage they can become.